Tag Archives: cats

Practising for Masterchef

24 Mar

Recently I’ve been joking that I am going to apply for Masterchef. I say it every year when I get swept away watching episode and episode and spend most of the evening salivating at what the contestants have managed to cook up. I didn’t expect that last night when I had been invited to a cat’s first birthday (yes, a cat not a human called Cat) that I would be able to get some practice in.

I was suspicious when I arrived when the table was covered in a cloth and there didn’t seem to be a lot going on in the kitchen in terms of food preparation for the invited guests. Soon the plan for the evening was revealed.

First we selected at random our cat ears in keeping with the party theme. I ended up with black ears and also a bow tie and a tail. Then we were told that we would be helping to make the meal for the evening. There was a twist though. We would be cooking in a relay and we weren’t allowed to talk to the next person who was taking over the cooking. This is one of my favourite challenges on Masterchef because it means you have to think on your feet. Every one had 13 minutes to cook and then they had to leave the kitchen for someone else to take over. The items that we used to cook had to be bought from the market and we weren’t allowed to spend more than 40 CHF in total, which is a big ask in Switzerland.

As if this wasn’t tricky enough our host threw in some wild cards. The actions on the cards had to be performed during your allotted time in the kitchen. Unfortunately, I had bad luck with my card – I would only be able to cook for 10 minutes. Those who were not cooking had to stay in the “cat den”, also known as the guest bedroom, which was decorated and had lots of cat themed games to play while we were waiting for our turn.

When it came to my turn I was overwhelmed. I was the fourth cook out of 6. Things were already in the oven and the majority of the budget had been spent. I realised that the person before me wanted me to boil potatoes because some were washed in the sink and there was a pan of boiling water on the stove. I did that and then bought some pak choi from the market. I knew I didn’t have time to cook it but I washed it and left it so that the next cook would hopefully see what I intended. With time rapidly running out, I decided to make some cocktails but I only had time to splash some rum in the glasses before the timer went off.

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By now I was hungry but only two more people were left to cook so there wasn’t long to wait. The clock buzzed for the last time and we were ready to eat. There was food to eat but it wasn’t very cohesive. We ended up with:

  • two chicken breast stuffed with mozzealla;
  • roasted vegetables (which was intended to be blended into a soup but no one realised –  we made the soup quickly later);
  • a mushroom cream sauce;
  • pak choi cooked with a chilli sauce;
  • 2 kg of potatoes;
  • 3 kg of spaghetti (courtesy of Araz who didn’t see the potatoes already cooking, panicked and decided to cook all of the pasta as well)
  • one portion of cat food.

I was criticised for buying the cat food because it was sold in the market for an inflated price and actually devoured 25% of our total budget. But the birthday boy had to eat so I thought it was more than reasonable. In all the excitement I had forgotten about the part about us having a strict budget. Admittedly, a poor show from the only qualified accountant in the room. But Araz played a wildcard to strike my (*cat pun alert*) purr choice from the budget when she was allowed to delete one bought item from the list, so we ended up spending 35.20 CHF.

The food wasn’t bad considering we had come over to celebrate a birthday and found ourselves chopping and dicing things in a mad panic in a kitchen that we’re not familiar with. And no one can say that there wasn’t enough carbohydrates on the table!

Luckily dessert had been made in advance and we were able to tuck into a delicious chocolate and strawberry cat cake made by the original star baker, Stefan. The sparkler on the top of the cake was impressive as well.

Thank you to Mark and Stefan for hosting the event, coming up with such a great evening of original and fun entertainment and allowing me use of their photos, my fellow cooks (Araz, Jana and Stefano) for not poisoning me and, of course, Macka for the invitation to his celebrations.

As for my application to Masterchef, I think I need more practice before sending it in!