Goodbye April

30 Apr

I’m not sure how a third of the year is already over (edited thanks to help from friends) but I am glad to see the back of April. Nothing bad or dramatic has happened over the last 30 days but over the last two weeks especially I’ve lost all motivation to do anything.

OK, that’s not strictly true. I have done somethings but a lot of the things that I have really enjoyed doing since the start of the year have been almost like a chore to me.

See if you understand what I mean:

  • This month I don’t think that I have managed to finish reading more than two books. I had been averaging a book every two days until the end of March. In April this ground to a halt. It’s not because I don’t like the books that I am in the middle of; it’s just that I read a chapter and then decide to put the book down rather than reading on. I feel like I have definitely reached my limit of trash TV, which has been filling the void, and that I can get back into reading in May. All the books on my to-read shelf aren’t going to read themselves!
  • I’ve had a wobble with my fitness goals. I was super motivated and ready to start increasing my running distances until I got struck down with a bad cold that sidelined me for the best part of 10 days. Getting back into cycling has been ok but the running has been tough. I won’t go into the gory details but I’ve had a very fluid cough which gets worse when I go running. Having said that, I have managed to run 24.8km and ride 92.3km in April. Can you imagine if I hadn’t have been tucked up in bed for so long? In May I am determined to beat these totals.
  • I haven’t made any progress on any of my challenges. In fairness some of them are reading and fitness related but, even the challenges I’ve started that I haven’t had an excuse to get on with, I haven’t been bothered to continue with any progress. My book has ground to a halt. I estimate 80% of this is due to lack of confidence and the other 20% is due to my motivation escaping me. I’m not sure how to tackle this one. I definitely don’t want to forget about the project altogether because I have spent so long on it already. Also I think some of the writing is OK so it doesn’t make any sense to just press delete.
  • Finally (and this one you may have noticed), I haven’t been blogging as much as normal. Obviously having less motivation to do anything means that I have had less to write about. If I am honest, I’ve actually missed sitting down at my laptop a couple of times a week and getting some writing done.

As you can see, April has been erring on the side of being a waste of time. It’s not all my fault though. I blame the weather. (I am British after all). I’ve felt all over the place with the quick changes between blazing-hot-gonna-get-sunburned-in-the-shade heat to lashings of rain to sudden flurries of ice-cold snow. Our optimism of having our first BBQ at the start of April but not being able to sit outside and eat since might be the source of all my de-motivation and disappointments in April. I was cheered up yesterday when I met with a friend who had said she had also spent most of the month moping around not being able to concentrate on anything. Sometimes it feels good when people are feeling exactly the same as you are because you realise that it’s normal not to be feeling like you can take on the world single-handedly every day.

I hope that May madness is going to help me have a bit more of a spring in my step. I have made plans to make sure that I get a few more steps towards completing some of my challenges, which will give me a boast, as well as keeping going with my running and cycling when time allows.

I hope your May is better than your April – even if your April was great!

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